Insights when Christian Couples go to Different Churches?
What Happens when Christian Couples Go to Different Churches? Many couples today meet and marry spouses who attend a different church from them and some choose to continue with their home church. None wants to leave their church and attend the one their spouse goes to. This has become a common practice in the Christian church and many wonder how to deal with this situation. The
Bible does not explicitly say that couples cannot go to the same church but it does give us pointers on how to understand and handle the situation.
Christian couples can go to different churches, but is this beneficial to their spiritual growth and unity in the marriage? Let us borrow wisdom from the Word of God.
What Happens to the Bond of Unity? / When Christian Couples Go to Different Churches
Genesis 2:24 says, “This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.”
When a couple goes to the same church, they can grow together spiritually and even share what they learned in church on Sunday. When couples grow together, they grow closer and their bond of unity is strengthened.
By going to different churches, the couple will have different priorities because different churches have different activities and ministries. Each spouse will plead allegiance to their church and this can open a door for disharmony in other areas of life. Spiritual growth is important for a couple and one needs to know that they are still on the same page spiritually with their spouse. By attending the same church, this is something that one can tell because you can observe their growth.
When problems show up in the marriage, each will be tempted to run to their corner because their bond of unity is not strong. This can lead to a situation where the couple falls into the trap of living together as roommates instead of resolving their issues while also trying to avoid divorce. None of them will be able to trace this to their spiritual disunity by going to different churches.
How Going to Different Churches Affects your Children
When you go to church together as a couple, your children will not be confused when it comes to which church to attend, and also you will be able to monitor their spiritual growth.
In Acts 1:8, Jesus Christ said, concerning witnessing, “But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes upon you. And you will be My witnesses both in Jerusalem, and in all Judea, and in Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.”
In the case of a Christian husband and wife, your Jerusalem is your children.
In 2 Timothy 3:15, Paul wrote to Timothy and told him that from childhood, he (Timothy) had known the holy Scriptures which are able to make him wise unto salvation through faith in Christ Jesus. And apparently this is because Timothy’s grandmother Lois and mother Eunice had done their work of exposing young Timothy to God’s Word at a tender age.
One way of exposing the children to the Gospel is by reading the Word of God and praying with them at home. The other way of availing the gospel to them is by taking them to the Sunday School class. And if couples are not going to the same church, the children will be confused concerning where to attend Sunday School.
Attending different churches will give your children the impression that there is no harmony among believers and this may undermine their desire to be Christians. When they grow up, they will not see the benefit of attending the same church with their spouses and may even choose to switch to another faith. When a couple goes to different churches, they are sending a message to their children and other new Christians that it’s not important to fellowship together as a couple.
Fellowship and Serving in Church
Jesus in John chapter 17: 6-12, He prayed to the Father that His disciples may be one.
6 “I have revealed you to those whom you gave me out of the world. They were yours; you gave them to me and they have obeyed your word. 7 Now they know that everything you have given me comes from you. 8 For I gave them the words you gave me and they accepted them. They knew with certainty that I came from you, and they believed that you sent me. 9 I pray for them. I am not praying for the world, but for those you have given me, for they are yours. 10 All I have is yours, and all you have is mine. And glory has come to me through them.
11 I will remain in the world no longer, but they are still in the world, and I am coming to you. Holy Father, protect them by the power of your name, the name you gave me, so that they may be one as we are one. 12 While I was with them, I protected them and kept them safe by that name you gave me. None has been lost except the one doomed to destruction so that Scripture would be fulfilled.
Also, the writer of the book of Hebrews in Hebrew 10:25 requires us not to forsake the gathering together of the saints.
25 ” not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching. “
When a couple goes to different churches, they will not have the opportunity to fellowship together with other believers in one church. Each will be drawn to their church’s doctrine which has different requirements for fellowship that does not favor married couples.
Generally they each will attend their respective churches functions, but then will need to go back to their family. Encourages superficial engagement in each of the two different fellowships.
When a married couple goes to different churches, they will give their time to serving in their respective churches. While serving in church is good, serving in different churches means that each spouse will mind the affairs of their church sometimes to the detriment of their marriage. They will give the excuse that their church needs all their time and that it is a priority to them.
Whe Christian Couples Go to Different Churches several things become part of the dynamics. By weakening the bond of marriage by going to different churches, you are interfering with the work that is done by God to strengthen your marriage.
And so the command to all—including the spouses themselves—is that no one separate or put asunder what God has brought together through marriage (Mark 10:9 and Matthew 19:6). Work towards strengthening the bond between you and your spouse as required by God and that way combine your effort so as to be able to serve the Lord effectively in your particular church.