How a Good Pastor Treats His Wife (Spouse) 9 Critical Tips
How a Good Pastor Treats His Wife? Pastors are human beings, though gifted with the calling to shepherd a church. We expect pastors to be perfect because they deliver the Word of God to us every Sunday. This is not possible because no one alive is without sin. God sent His Son, Jesus, to set us free from sin so that we can live a righteous life. A pastor can treat his wife the way God desires by turning to the Bible for wisdom. God gave us His Word to teach us how to live godly lives and treat others with love and respect.
Below is a complete guide on how a good pastor can treat his wife.
1. Love your wife
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” Ephesians 5:25
A good pastor loves his wife the way that Jesus loves His church. This is the kind of love that is selfless and cares about the concerns of the other person at all times.
The pastor needs to make sure that He makes his wife a priority and remembers that she is a gift from God to him. She will be with him for life and he has committed to loving her through the ups and downs of life. A good pastor remembers the vows he made to his wife to love her unconditionally with God’s help. Suggestions
- Spend Time with Her
- Listen to Her
- Romance Her
- Provide for Her
- Honor Her
- Tell Her She is Beautiful
- Get Her Flowers, Candy, Unique Gifts that will give her memories she will never forget.
- Remember her Birthday – Tell her how young she looks
- Remember Your Anniversary
- Go To Doctor with her
- Take her to dinner / Make her Dinner
- Visit and Help her Parents
- Help her in her Ministry
- If she has dreams help her with hers, not just yours
- Give her time away from kids
- Date Nights
It is difficult when you are a Church Leaders because your heart and soul is in helping and growing God’s Kingdom. You can easily become unbalanced and give more Time, Attention, Listening to your flock than to your wife, who is your Help-meet in this great work
2. Don’t be harsh with her
“Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.” Colossians 3:9
Life can present some tough times that can make a person angry and bitter. This can result in a person being harsh with others as they try to deal with the situation that is overwhelming them.
A good pastor will not be harsh with his wife and will not take out his frustration on her. Some husbands are harsh with their wives because they believe that this is a perfect way to discipline her. This is not true because God meant the marital union to be one of love and respect. Treat your wife with gentleness and patience at all times. Think on this
- Be Patient
- Put Yourself in Her Shoes
- Remember Men are wired to be aggressive in nature / Women are nurturers. Men Women Nest – deal with it
3. Be considerate with your wife
“Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.” 1 Peter 3:7
A good pastor will treat his wife considerately and respect her opinions and desires. For his home to be harmonious, he needs to consult his wife before making decisions that affect the whole family. The pastor and his wife are united in holy matrimony and need to work together for the good of everyone in the home.
When a wife feels that her husband values her, she treats him with respect and honors his leadership in the home. In addition to this, the pastor will have his prayers answered because there will be nothing to hinder them.
4. Keep your marriage vows
“The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband.” 1 Corinthians. 3:7
Marriage is a covenant relationship between a husband and wife, and each commit to meet the needs of the other. A good pastor will ensure that he meets his wife’s sexual, emotional, mental, and other needs she has as his partner in marriage.
The pastor should not allow himself to work very long hours each day and fail to meet his wife’s sexual needs. A pastor should also spend quality time with his wife and get to know her more and understand the things that make her enjoy their marriage. When his wife feels loved, she will reciprocate and respect him as her husband.
5. Listen To Your Wife
Your wife has your best interest at heart and genuine listening to her can help you avoid a large amount of stress and difficulty. When helping others, many times they are seeking the help and comfort you can give them.
Youre wife has how she can help you at heart. She has pledged her life and trust into your hands . Think on this
- Your Life is her life
- Your Ministry is Her Ministry
- You are a Team
- You are One
- She will Stick with You when everyone else leavs
- Position – Salary – Honor is Fleeting – she remains true
- God Provided and Choose her for you
- Your Time is hers
- Your Money is hers
- Your Honor is hers
- God Said you are One that is the very best condition for our lives.
From the Beginning (Genesis 2:24) “For this reason, a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.”
6. Protect your wife
“‘The man who hates and divorces his wife,’ says the Lord, the God of Israel, ‘does violence to the one he should protect,’ says the Lord Almighty. So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful.” Malachi 2:16
God expects that a husband will protect his wife and not be unfaithful to her. A good pastor will not entertain thoughts of divorce but will take the initiative to sort out any marital problems he has with her.
Unfaithfulness begins in the heart before a man walks away from his marriage. A good pastor will guard his heart against unfaithfulness and desires that take him away from his wife. He should protect her from anything that threatens to destroy their marriage.
A word of advice – I have known many preachers that have in their working in God’s Kingdom, have become unfaithful to their wives. It is sad, but Satan has used this sin to destroy many good and thriving ministries.
7. Tips as you Pastor / Preach
- Ministers can spend more time with their secretaries
- Women come for help, in broken marriages, very difficult broken lives. Needing a shoulder of comfort. – I made it a practice of doing counseling with another member being with me or doing it with my wife.
- From a single woman’s perspective, here is a man that is sympathetic, he is godly, he is faithful, he is true. What a catch
- Preachers can have such a heavy workload – their families and wives are neglected – Drift Apart
- Satan is Actively trying to stop your work. He is searching for a crack in yours and your wives armor – Give him no Crack
- Nurture Your Love and Romance with your wives
- Take time away for rest and renewal.
8. Be a Teammate in the Marriage
“That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.” Genesis 2:24
When a pastor gets married, he moves away from his parents and forms his home with his wife. The two become one flesh and operate as a unit. A good pastor recognizes that he is one with his wife and is to work together with her as his teammate in the marriage.
He should make decisions together with his wife and not leave her out of the important things that he does. This maintains harmony in the home and guards against a spirit of disunity and strife. A good pastor will wait until his wife is ready before he makes a move that will affect her and the children.
9. Avoid Adultery
“But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” Matthew 5:28
In the course of pastoring a church, a pastor will come across many beautiful women and if he doesn’t guard his heart, he can fall into adultery. A good pastor will avoid looking at other women lustfully and will keep in mind the consequences of having an affair outside of his marriage. He should remain faithful to his wife and avoid the temptation to commit adultery.
The above guide covers the basic points that a pastor can use to check himself and ensure that he is remaining true to his marriage vows. He should also pray and ask God to show him ways in which he can better treat his wife.